Deadlines frighten me.

March 20. March 20. March 20.
That is the deadline. Too bad I need to submit it before the deadline so I can know if I am able to take classes or not next semester in the Fall.
I want to get into the Art Education program at my school, I love art, but I don't know if I will love teaching. I am a very impatient person. This semester will be the 3rd time I am submitting a portfolio. Last spring I sent one in, it was horrible (seriously) and I was very depressed at the time. Then my mother died, which made me even more depressed. Fall 08 semester I turned a very new and greatly improved portfolio in, and again I was denied. Part of that was their fault because some numbnuts lost my fucking slide list information for my artwork. Those Fuckers.
Now this is going to be my third try, and let me tell you something... I HATE making artwork off of still life. I can't fucking stand it. I don't want to see reality, I want to be abstract and express emotion and feeling. I don't want to draw a fucking apple on a fucking table. Seriously. Fuck that.
But I can't, for this portfolio I have to show a high "observational" skill. Plus the images can't be blurry like they were last semester, I actually have to make my self stop shaking for like a moment.


The deadline is approaching, and I am a nervous wreck. I am seriously beginning to doubt my artistic abilities. I suck at life.
my artwork on facebook